Thursday, September 30, 2010

Serious the Great Dog

I read about this on Rita the Dog's blog. I a may have it a bit wrong. Certainly no one ever called me 'serious'. Oh, what's that? Sirius the Great Dog? Well, we take what we can get. Rita the Dog has some incredible drawings and paintings. Not like That Person who hardly does anything these days in that department. Oh and it's all sorts of reasons why not. If it's not the frickin' job it's the guitar lessons. You don't want to ever hear her playing "Me and Bobby McGee" She actually calls people on the phone and plays the guitar and sings into the microphone to them. Hundreds of people have left town this week. I am in such pain.

I also found another dog blog: This Bogart, Handsome Devil--another Airedale. And then there's Rita's site: You must get to know Rita, even though she hasn't posted of late. The artwork is atounding! I think Rita and I could get to be friends. and Bogart, well! That Person had me 'fixed' so there won't be a whole lot of action there, but still....

That Person is going off the rails, siriusly. Her neurologist is sick and if she can't get her meds she'll just die, simply die. And what will my life be like then? Doesn't anyone want to call Airedale Rescue?

Yaron came around a few day ago to take me to the dog park. He really understands me, not like That Person.When I went for the small dog in the car he really put me in my place. Calmly. Not like That Person who gets all upset about things. Oh holy crap! I pooped on the street today and That Person had no bags. Not that the bags would have helped She had to clean it all up with Kleenex.

What fresh horror will tomorrow bring? No matter, we dogs live only in the moment.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

That Person Says I Wear Too Much Eye Make-up

It's always something with Her. You know the kind. Well, honestly, I don't even think I'm wearing eye make-up at all, unless it was She who put it on me, and I wouldn't put it past Her!

I am a magnificent creature who needs no artificial enhancements. I have many admirers at the Dog Park. Take, for example, that little fellow, Finnegan, who came in today. He made a bee-line for me. That Person liked him, and his name. She started singing in Her head about some Tim Finnegan who carried a hod and fell to his death. Something about a Biddy McGee and whirl your whiskey around like blazes and on and on. Honestly, I think the inside of That Person's head is like a rotten cantaloupe. I know because we had one of those in the kitchen and every fruit fly in Massachusetts....oh it was not good!
Frankie T Wallace, the Airedale Criminal (Merrylegs)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Not a Spaceship! Worse, Much Worse!!!!

Okay, here it is: you will remember the spaceship from the previous post. Adding picture below for memory-aid. Now, I'm in the yard with That Person who is talking to the downstairs neighbors who I thought were my friends. Turns out not. The erstwhile spaceship is no such thing. It's an item being stored in the yard after being used as a--wait for it!--Barbeque Grill, on which an entire lamb was roasted at the restaurant where Emily downstairs works. Imagine how my relief turned to horror as the full implications of this dawned on me. I did some research using my energy-activated software and found out some more-than-disturbing facts. I am currently in hiding with That Person's laptop.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Space Ship Lands in Hampshire Street Backyard with Aliens on Board

Was I frightened? Out of my considerable wits! Now you know I'm not one to own up to my frailties, but this one threw me for nine loops to Sunday, or something. You see the pictures. Can you honestly say that this is not everybody's worst nightmare? Sure, in the movies you usually see the thing hovering in the night sky, lights flashing, as it slowly, slowly lowers itself down into the center of some cornfield in Nebraska. But this, alas, was no sci-fi movie. This was the real deal. At least I thought so. And in case you're thinking I'm one of those who believes they've been abducted by aliens etc etc, think again. (That Person read a book about it and it turns out those people may not be crazy after all and that it, the abduction, didn't really happen either. Some kind of neurological disturbance. Cool!)

But back to my story. There we were, out for a bit of relief in the yard when suddenly..BAM! Up zooms (well, okay, it was just sitting there) this hideous once-flying machine now 'living the life' right on the spot where I squat. I mean with air slits or maybe they're escape hatches. Chains hanging off the thing. Handles even for ease of opening the hatches and taking young Airedales back to Planet Freakout. Like a bucking Bronco I was. Came close to bringing That Person down on the ground (not all that hard to do, actually). Let me just say that it took four trips to the yard and absolutely hours for That Person to get me to do my late night business.

My next post will deal with the following morning and afternoon, where you will learn that That Person has no mercy, not even one mercy or one half of one.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Oh The Dog Park Was Such a Trial Today

Well, to start with, after sitting and waiting, and sitting and waiting at all the gates (I think there are at least 40 of them) I finally enter the park with That Person. I have to sit and wait to get let off the leash. Man, I am so good, really good. I even pretend not to be excited. Lots of cool dogs come to sniff me. She lets me go, but before I 'go', up comes this character and picks a big old fight with me. Let me tell you, I don't hardly ever pick a fight (well there were those two times when I thought those Yorkies on a leash were prey!) but I don't just stand there for it either. No sir. The person of that other dog, instead of correcting him, took him off and gave him a lecture. Ha ha. Blah, blah, blah Ginger, blah, blah blah. This is in reference to the excellent Far Side cartoon What we say to dogs, what dogs hear. So anyway, That Person keeps me leashed for all round safety reasons. I'm not terribly happy about it but for once She's not all off the charts on it. Finally I'm allowed to go and so's that other character who comes right on over and tries to start up with me again. But That Person has a hold of my collar now and nothing comes of it. When this uppity character is finally taken away by his person I'm let go for real. Some nice lady tells That Person that this other dog has been acting all bad for a while.
That Person is figuring out that it's a holiday crowd at the park. Not the regulars. Some of my old favorites have stopped coming often, anyway. Sad. Things are going a bit downhill--metaphorically-- over at Danehy. Couple a weeks ago some dogs started digging right in the middle of the dog area. Their people just stood around next to them, not even stopping them, and then they left without filling in the hole. I'm not very interested in digging (unless there's something tasty down there) so no big deal for me to be a model of good behavior on this score. Today some dog started digging like fury next to one of the trees. Same deal. No people batted any eyes.
Then some woman had her nose in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and was eating peanuts from a very flimsy plastic bag. If you follow this blog you know what I can do with a situation like that. It's my famous teeny-tiny front teeth that can take a thing right out of your hand without you knowing anything even happened. That Person was all over it, standing in front of the mystery-reading peanut-eater and pointing at me if even the glimmer of an idea as outlined above came over me. There were several such glimmers. I can tell that people think She's harsh with me. That's because they don't do much of anything with their dogs by way of correction or learning. Learning is a pain in the butt, but also good because you get skills. these skills are their own reward (you can show off all over the place) and they also get you into places that otherwise might give you the proverbial boot
Another thing was that someone left a large plastic bottle right out in the dog area. There were also two take-out plastic cups with straws stuck in them and some interesting liquid at the bottom. These were left on the people-benches. That person was silently crabbing away inside about it all.

Then this other little character comes up and snaps at me. More than once. His person, instead of giving a correction, used her people-voice (mildly chiding) and then petted the poor little fellow who will never, I promise you, learn a thing that way.

There were plenty of dogs today, but none who were interested in playing with this writer. Finally I found a guy that I jollied into playing with me. I think I might have been the one to teach him how to play. I had to get into the submissive position right away to show him how. We had a pretty good time and we went on for about forever. Before leaving, That Person (who thinks she's the world's best ever) filled in the hole around the tree

In my next post I will tell you about the horror in the back yard. You will be strictly on the edge of your seat for the outcome!