Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's Been a While and Have I Been Busy!

Let me just start off with this complaint: That Person claimed she would make me up some business cards for this blog. So where are they. They are nowhere, which isn't even a place. So I chewed up one of Her bookmarks, and the book it was stuck in. This book, by the way, was written by a dog. She didn't think She was going to like it at first and then She did. It's called Dog on It. Supposed to be written by Chet--just plain Chet, he says. But does a dog ever get credit? The book claims that someone called Spencer Quinn wrote it. Like this blog, in case you didn't notice, says that these posts are from That Person. Just you wait until I get my own Google I.D.
Well, back to one of my favorite topics: chewing. I have had to work so hard on my leash-walking skills and my going-into-the-dog-park skills that something had to give. Chewing is a great tension reliever. People know this. They are always chewing something or other. But just you let a dog do a little therapeutic chewing and, oh boy! I try to ignore all the hullabaloo. Here is a fine list of things chewed this week:

  • 1 lipstick and gloss combo case
  • 1 padded coat hanger
  • 1 tube of watercolor paint
  • 1 plastic bottle of Vicodin
  • the aforementioned bookmark
  • the book, mainly the spine which is the most succulent part

I didn't make much headway on the lipstick case. Not interesting enough.
The coat hanger was a success. That Person thought, from a distance, that I'd destroyed some small ground animal. The watercolor paint--wow--quinacridone burnt orange. And did that ever look good all over the rug and floor. I got my paws all in it and was able to track it up and down the hall and on the kitchen floor. The Vicodin: That Person heard me tossing and catching it all up and down the hardwood hallway. She thought it sounded like I was having too much fun for it to be a piece of old chew thing. This gives you an idea of how much fun That Person is. NOT!  She's telling everyone that if I'd busted through the container and ate the 4 pills--30 mg of vicodin--Her problems would have been over. Not even funny.

She has to take this stuff all the time for some bizarre neurological condition. What with the Vicodin and the cane She thinks She's like that guy House on the television. She is so not that guy.

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