I Just Ate the Best Potholder by Joey Ramone (Airedale)

Yes! I Just Ate the Best Potholder. She had company last night and wasn't paying attention at all. And there on the countertop was this great potholder, handmade, I understand, by Nora Maybury several years ago during her days as a fiber artist. Well, the colors were truly vibrant, irresistible you might say. I did not resist. You can only imagine my disappointment upon having this unexpected meal-of-all-meals snatched from me when I was a mere 3/4 of the way through it. This morning I stole and ate up a hard-boiled egg, already peeled out of a bowl on the same counter. Note to self: check that countertop more often.
postscript: not been feeling great today. must have been the hard-boiled egg.

I Ate An Entire Tibetan Rug

Not all in one sitting, mind you, but in it's entirety just the same. Lip-smacking good, you know it! I'm putting up a picture of this sort-of-Airedale thing that's at our house. Seems like he's been here for a while now, and shouldn't he be leaving soon? That Person says his name is Joey Ramone. She also calls him Little Joey Man or Happy Joe. Will you just look at the size of those paws? Do I have something to be worried about, I ask you? That Person says he has a laid-back temperament. A laid-off temperament, I call it. He likes to be held ( A sure sign of weakness in a dog) and he comes when she calls him. Oh, really! He also pees and poops on the kitchen floor. She forgot to mention that! What could I do? I had to develop a special little tattle tale bark so as to point out all his misdeeds, and there are plenty of those, I assure you.(can you post sound on this blog? I know you all want to hear the new bark)

There's a butt-load of catching up to do here. Like--did you know I can catch a frisbee in the air? Have you heard that I was the star of my dog training class? I like to out-perform the other dogs because it makes That Person seethe, She, knowing how truly terrible I can be.

I saw my main man, Yaron! Twice! At the new dog park, Yaron was not very happy with me at one point. Can't quite remember what happened there. But of course that Joey-man was a perfect doll and all that, yak yak yak.

Well, for all of you who were hoping I was dead or something, I'm not. I couldn't get into the energy-activated software on the computer due to some re-arrangements in the house. Got it all figured out now so head for the hills (I wish I could) I am back.

Frankie T Wallace, the Airedale Criminal

That Person Thinks She's So Funny

So the good news is I got to spend oh-so-much time with the beautiful Matt who was kind enough to bring over his lactose-toleration pills. And it was a brand new bottle, still in the cardboard box. And, because Matt is such a good friend of mine he left this bottle in his messenger bag right on the floor. I know I don't need to tell you what happened. But I will anyway. I nicked the whole thing, box, bottle pills and all and raced down to the backyard to get to work right away on the whole thing. I am not a one for procrastination! Well! That Person went down to the yard later and found the empty, crunched-up bottle. Then She found the shredded bits of cardboard box. You could just see the wheels turning--and that's what She's got up there, wheels, I'm sure--and the look on Her face. Oh it was a rare moment for this writer. She didn't even bother to look around the yard for further evidence, but came right upstairs and called up the vet.

When the vet receptionist picked up, That Person says--get this--"Is there a dog heaven where dogs go when they die?"

There was this long silence on the other end of the line. The poor receptionist finally said, "Huh?" That Person was laughing into her shirt. So they went to get the vet who, believe you me, does not want to see this Airedale in the office again. The vet said it's probably just fine. That Person said she'd have to make a point of putting the more toxic medicine's on a lower shelf. The receptionist didn't even  notice.

That Person thinks she is just so damned funny.

Truth be told, I didn't eat any of those old pills. They were nasty, and this from one who will eat anything. The box was pretty good, though.